Dearest Grandfather,
How I long to know what you were like. What did you voice sound like? Were you a warm loving father and husband or a colder more reserved person? I hope the former. I have heard you were a dreamer, like me. Always thinking ahead, planning your next move or hatching a bright new idea. Apparently you tried your hand in many a career.
I identify with that alot. My mind runs a mile a minute, I'm always 10 steps up the road going break-neck speed toward some new idea or plan to bring success. Most times I get going so fast I end up tumbling down the "path" head over bottom. But I get right up and dream on! I cannot help it. Always thinking of some way to make something, anything, and everything better than it is now!
My Daddy is like that too but the years have seasoned him and given him finesse. He rarely gets that crazy gleam in his eye when a great idea strikes like he did when I was a little girl. He has iron clad control now which I envy with oozing green jealousy. When I have a good idea, no matter the time of day or night, everyone is my house is going to hear about it, mainly my husband Keith. I'll talk his ear off for hours about this and that and how every detail would work out flawlessly. I cannot contain myself, the ideas burst forth like a cork from champagne.
Being a dreamer and of the creative mindset seems to certainly be genetic. I look at my own three kids now and wonder which one or if all three will be bitten by the "dreamer" bug. God help me if all of them are like us!
I've started this blog because I don't seem to fit in with anyone else family wise. I've never been close to anyone on either sides of my family and I think you need to know your roots in order to grow up to be a sound and secure adult.
I have these very real issues of rejection and feeling like an "outcast" and like I don't belong. Frankly, I daydream about having a close blood relative who really cares about me and doesn't just want to see me to see my kids. Someone who can lend a sympathetic ear and not pass judgement. Someone who "gets" me. So I've created this blog as a way of getting thoughts out into space and not keeping things bottled up. I've "created" someone to talk to, though you cannot respond, at least cyber space minics "listening" well.
I hope to discover more about myself on my path of exploring more about you when you walked the earth.
